Step One Hundred and Twenty-Five

Step 125. I Do Not Need To Be Someone Today.

You already are someone, so why try to be someone? It is better to be the person you already are. The person you already are is the power of Knowledge carried in the vehicle of the nature of an individual. This is already established, and it is under development right now. Why try to be something today when you are something already? Why not be what you are? Find out what you are. This takes great courage, for you must risk disappointing your own idealistic view of yourself and the world. This takes encouragement because you must risk giving up your self-hatred, which is a way that you separate yourself from life.

Therefore, this day be exactly as you are. Remind yourself upon the hour. And in your two meditation practices today, allow yourself to be still and to receive, for you are not trying to be someone today.

Practice 125: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

April 24, 2013 Round One: I take comfort in this Step since it relieves me of my self-doubt and helps me to look at my accomplishments rather than my failures. There is something very empowering about realizing that you have something special inside, Knowledge, that may not be seen by others, by the world around you, but you know it is there, it is with you. It is like a special secret that sustains you through the storms.

And I realize today that I don’t have an idealistic view of myself, I am who am I, take it or leave it. I am very naïve and unknowledgeable, but I don’t condemn myself for this today, rather I see it as an asset, since it means I am open and teachable. I don’t have a lot of baggage to get rid of, since I didn’t have any ambitions in the first place. I just strive to be the best person I can with the abilities I have.

November 25, 2014 Round Two: This time I have an even more realistic view of myself. I am beginning to understand my relationship with God, my relationship with myself, with others, and with the world. I am reading Relationships & Higher Purpose and it is supplementing what I am learning as I practice Steps. There is an echo back and forth, different threads from different New Message teachings are coming together, interweaving, and creating a single tapestry, a clearer, more complete picture. I feel so much more content, with myself, with my relationships, with the world. Clarity is dawning.

I read this passage in Chapter 2. Your Relationship with Yourself in R&HP today as I traveled on the Moscow metro again (still working on getting my passport renewed).

“Since, in truth, there is only one you, you must consider your relationship with yourself in terms of your relationship with your mind and with your body. You have a relationship both with your mind and with your body. Who you are is neither your mind nor your body. Your mind and your body are not as great as who you are. However, who you are must be experienced and expressed through these vehicles in order for your life to have meaning in the world. And like it or not, you are in the world where you are supposed to be.”

I like where I am in the world and where I am in my relationship with myself. I am not trying to be someone, I do not need to be someone, because I already am someone. I am who I am. What is more, I am greater than my body and my mind. This is becoming increasingly clear to me. I am beginning to understand.

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Mirror Mirror

I particularly appreciate not needing to be someone with friends, especially with friends I do not have much communication with. One particular friend showed up again in my life yesterday. We first met in 2003 during our initial steps in AA, and we have been connected ever since. She now lives far away on the island of Bali, but she comes home to Moscow on vacation every year. She is here on vacation now, and we got together and walked for two hours in my woods. My inner world has changed a great deal since we first met and became friends, but there is nothing contrived in our relationship, I do not need to be someone, I only need to listen and show compassion.

November 3, 2018 Round Three. I don’t need to be someone today. I am the power of Knowledge carried in the physical body. This is awesome! Meditation - 5.07 - 5.29. The neighbors turned on the TV and it distracted me, interrupted by meditation. I feel content and balanced. All is well with my children. Greg got his next paycheck for over $1000, he is obviously happy. Claire is a shining light. Ursula is content. Tom and Liana are on their way to Minsk with Ilya for the long November 4 weekend. Michael and Lera are a strong union. I talked to Amina yesterday about her Encampment experience. Marshall came up to her himself and held her hands. She says it is so different meeting him in person than seeing him on the screen. He exudes an immense presence. Will I ever meet him? I am great, but I am humble. I do not need to be someone. I already am someone and it does not need to be proclaimed, it just is. I am going forward with renewed dedication in my translation efforts.