Step Seventy

Step 70. Review

Today culminates ten weeks of practice. Congratulations! You have come this far. To be a true student means that you are following the Steps as they are given. To do this you must learn to honor yourself, to honor the source of your instruction, to recognize your limitations and to value your greatness. Thus it is that this is a day of honor and a day of acknowledgment for you.

Review the last three weeks of practice. Reread the instructions and recall each practice period. Recall what you gave and what you did not give. Honor your participation and attempt to strengthen it today. Deepen your resolve to have Knowledge and deepen your experience of being a true follower so that in the future you may learn to be a true leader. Deepen your experience of being a true recipient so that you may be a true contributor.

Let this day of review, then, be a day of honor for you and a day that strengthens your commitment. Honestly evaluate your participation. Assess your apparent successes and failures. Your successes will encourage you, and your failures will teach you what you need to do to deepen your experience. This is a day of honor for you who are honored.

Practice 70: Several long practice periods.

Here you will find the entire book free for download http://stepstoknowledge.com/

Here you will find pointers for getting started if this is your first encounter with this practice: Taking the Steps to Knowledge.

February 10, 2013 Round One: As I did this review things came into sharper focus, but I do not feel like honoring myself and seem to have lost the confidence I once had in the authenticity of my journey and in my ability to grasp the concept of Knowledge and all it entails. I feel less optimistic, less joyful, less inspired. But I am wondering if this not perhaps because I am losing my idealism, and if so, it is a good thing, since being idealistic creates obstacles on the path to reclaiming Knowledge.

Wait five minutes, and the wind will change again. I wrote the above a couple of days ago, and today my optimism and joy have returned and things are unfolding again in the right direction, I feel as though I am “in the flow” once more. Honoring myself is still difficult though, I would rather see it as honoring that part of me that is connected to God, to the Source, that part of me that is my deeper mind where Knowledge resides, that part which makes me aware I am on a sacred journey, not for myself, but together with and in communion with all the other souls consciously making this journey to raise the consciousness of the planet and save our beautiful world.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to really get in touch with that part of me that is God-given and honor that gift - that is what I really want to honor in this Step.

September 21, 2014 Round Two: This review has brought into sharper focus how practicing Steps is becoming a vital part of my daily life. It takes top priority over everything else, it motivates me to keep on practicing and I feel as though something is missing in my life if I am lackadaisical or not consistent enough in my practice.

The Step uses honor several times, and like the first time I did Steps, I am focusing on honoring that part of me that is connected to God.

I used the same system I used in the Step 49 review, giving myself a plus or a minus for each step in this three-week period depending on how deeply I practiced and whether I felt happy with the depth of my involvement.

I am happy to report that I gave myself a plus for 17 out of the 20 steps in this review period. For the other three, I gave myself a plus/minus, since I was not entirely happy with my involvement. A couple of times I was not consistent with the hourly practices, other times I did not fully understand what the Step required. All in all though, I feel like celebrating because I do feel I am making progress.

My attention continues to be directed to pertinent quotes from the New Message books and teachings that speak to my experience today.

Greater Community Spirituality Chapter 5: What is Human Purpose? says:

"Your purpose now is to prepare.  

"If you must learn Greater Community Knowledge and Wisdom, then you must prepare in The Greater Community Way of Knowledge. You cannot make this up for yourself. And if you receive the curriculum, do not tamper with it; do not editorialize it; do not select what you like and disregard the rest, or you will not move beyond where you are. It takes a different understanding and a different movement in life to carry you into a greater awareness. With greater awareness comes a greater ability." 

And:

"Learning a Greater Community Way of Knowledge is a great undertaking and preparation. You cannot study it for a few weeks or a few months or a few years and master it. That is why we say there are no masters in the world. There are only proficient students. Therefore, seek to become a proficient student, which will indeed make you seem masterful to others.  

"However, as soon as you think that you have arrived and that your education is complete, your studenthood will come to an end, and your mind will begin to close in upon itself. You will stop where you are and begin to slide backwards."

This review has shown me that I am indeed seeking to be a proficient student and am aware that if I stop and become less diligent in my practice I will slide backwards to a less than desirable place. So I keep on keeping on.

On Saturday, the day I began this review, I was out in the Russian countryside picking wild mushrooms, an activity I enjoy every year at this time. I enjoyed it even more this year, since I felt Knowledge with me. I felt as though honoring my practice and honoring the source of my instruction harmonized well with the satisfaction and delight I experience in the forest world where mushrooms grow.

Honey Agarics, near Istra, Moscow Region, Russia

Step 50 – plus – I was with Knowledge

Step 51 – plus – I feel I understand fear and how it works.

Step 52 – plus – I am learning to empty my mind and make way for Knowledge to emerge.

Step 53 – plus – I have a desire to contribute and I am learning to curb my ambition in this. I am happy to say that I do not need recognition for what I do, I am getting past the ego-stroking benefits that recognition entails.

Step 54 – plus – I am not idealistic, I accept things as they are and am not going to be disappointed if things turn out differently to what I want or expect.

Step 55 – plus - I do accept the world as it is, I am here precisely because the world is as it is, I have a contribution to make to this world.

Step 56 – review – plus – I am making slow but steady progress.

Step 57 – plus/minus – I am not sure I am totally free yet, or fully understand the concept of freedom – I am inconsistent with hourlies.

Step 58 – plus – Knowledge is with me, I know.

Step 59 – plus – I am learning to appreciate the merits of being patient and trusting that all will happen at the right time.

Step 60 – plus/minus – not judging at all is hard, being totally impartial, with no preferences.

Step 61 – plus – I returned to my ugly duckling/swan analogy – I am still learning to love myself, but I love myself so much more today than I did yesterday. I was a bit down on myself the day I did this Step, but now I do think that love flows from me.

Step 62 – plus – I am learning to listen.

Step 63 – review – plus - good review – it confirmed my feeling that Steps are becoming integrated into my life, I am constantly aware of my practice and keep it uppermost in my mind.

Step 64 – plus/minus – not enough people to listen to, but did the best I could.

Step 65 – plus – I am happy to know I have work to do in the world, but I don’t have to know precisely what this work is.

Step 66 – plus – not complaining is good – I appreciate that the world provides me with the perfect environment for Knowledge to emerge.

Step 67 – plus – what I want for the world might not be what the world needs. I am happy to accept this.

Step 68 – plus – I am not losing faith in myself.

Step 69 – plus – I am learning to trust what I experience in stillness.

September 1, 2018 Round Three: I am not doing this review today. Ursula and I are getting an early start and going to Gorky Park. I am going to take my time and do this review justice.

September 2, 2018: Again an early start to get to the immigration center on time. We did, but it is way outside Moscow and such a discomfiting place. Like a prison or a vacuum, sterile and uninviting. Heavy security. Tons of Central Asian migrant workers looking to legalize their status in the Russian Federation. We were partially successful. They accepted Ursula’s documents but required one translation (of her birth certificate) to be redone. The stickler was that the translation did not specify “maiden name” when I was Murphy, just surname. Ursula had to get a new translation and resubmit it the next day. But that no longer required my passport, so I was free to leave. Horrendous bus trip back to Moscow squished on a jam-packed bus with sweaty stinky migrant workers all talking in their native languages. Plus it was broiling hot. I did not feel like myself again until we got home, ate and I took a bath. There was a lovely surprise at the end of the day when Michael came home with Lera. We chatted, she is amazing. Read a book with almost the same story as Yuri Vetokhin - can you believe!?!

September 3, 2018: Another early start. Walked with Lera and Michael to the metro (Michael carried my bag) and part way on the journey, as far as Park Kultury. Lera and I exchanged email addresses. Made it home with no hitches. Kind of weary, but so glad to be back, especially after going for a swim. Only Volodya mars the joy.

September 4, 2018:  Not feeling this review this morning, but I don’t want to spend any more time on it. I feel as though I have integrated the Steps to be reviewed (Steps 50-69). I reached a new depth of insight while in Moscow and dealing with my business there and the issues with Ursula. I saw how well things are going in the apartment without Sasha and I. I see all my children becoming more grown-up and independent. I see how we will be an intrusion. Sasha seems to have calmed down about it. I hope so. I hope I can dissuade him from returning if it ever comes back to that. I am confident that we will have a place of our own to live soon, either that or Volodya will not be here all the time and give us a reprieve. I am going on to the next Step.